Trying to realize they won't be babies forever...

So last night I had a harsh realization. My girls aren't babies anymore. If I take them to the playground they are now the big kids. It was 3 days ago when I would take them to the park and I would have to watch their every move because they were so little and the other kids were sooooo big. I used to have to lift them to the rings and on to the swing and now they can do it all on their own. However, swings and rings aside I came to the realization last night because of the books that were chosen for bedtime.

First of all let me just say that Emily went crazy and begged for an MP3 player and the Easter Bunny delivered. She wanted this device so that she could listen to stories in her room just like the rest of us. Audio books are something we all consume as if its a much needed DNA sequence that will make us cease to exist if we don't have it. So the first quake in my foundation was Emily's lack of interest in me reading to her last night because she wanted to let her story put her to sleep.

The second glimpse of their vanishing babydom was the choice of books that Abbey was reading. She's now reading books with titles that scare me "Wait til Helen Comes" and then the titles about teenagers. She's really into this series called "The Clique" Wait a second...What happened to the Magic Tree House ? Shouldn't she be climbing up and seeing what century she's going to next? Most of all what happened to Junie B. Jones? Junie is supposed to be the one Abs is hanging out with, not about some girls in a clique. I'm pretty sure that Junie B. and That Grace didn't start a clique! Sheesh. And this made me remember the sweet satisfaction that I got when I got my first Sweet Valley High books. I would read them in one sitting like a bulimic without an audience. And then I couldn't wait to get my next fix. I can remember when Tricia died and thinking that I'd never get over it. I think she was the first young person that I "knew" that died. I couldn't imagine anything more tragic. And then I realized that maybe I'm not just wishing that their growing up would slow down but that mine would run in reverse. I can remember being their ages and the friends I had and my "passions". It seems like I shouldn't be old enough to have kids let alone those in the tween ages. And if my time from then to now had zipped by so quickly that only means that their time will pass just as quickly. This was a gentle reminder to enjoy each day.

So after I tucked them in and went to bed and started reading my book something way too adult for someone reminiscing about Sweet Valley High. I read for a while and went to check on the girls and kiss them one more time before I fell asleep. I checked on Abbey first, kissed her forehead and noticed how she still sucks her lip just like she did when she was first born and caught a glimpse of the baby still such a part of her. Then I went in and tucked Emily's Bz, aka blankie, around her and kissed her sweet face, I could still see the baby that she was (and still is in my mind) by the soft curve of her cheek even if it was laying on a Hannah Montana pillowcase instead of Barney.