Trying to figure myself out...

Ok, so my friend Danielle posted her 101 things on her blog and challenged the rest of us with the same. I have finally taken the time to do my 101 things...now its your turn!

101 things

1) I love my daughters more than life itself
2) I had Abbey’s name picked out before she was conceived
3) I couldn’t decide on Emily’s name for a full day after she was born
4) I love my first name
5) I hate my middle name
6) When I was growing up I was the only girl in the family who wasn’t a Charlie’s Angel (Cheryll, Farrah, Kelley)
7) I could live on cereal
8) I love to read! (You can even keep track of what I am reading at the end of my blog!)
9) I wish that I would have become a lawyer
10) I want to teach, High School or college level Literature or Writing
11) I have had a novel in the works for 8 years and I can’t get it done
12) I miss my sisters every day
13) I often miss Montana http://visitmt.com/
14) I am still glad that we moved to Kansas http://money.cnn.com/magazines/moneymag/bplive/2008/
15) When I was growing up I wanted to be an FBI agent
16) I’m not grown up and still want to be an FBI agent
17) I wish we could have had more kids
18) I was told I would never have kids
19) I’ve rounded up cows on my mountain bike
20) I still use the same bike that I got when I graduated from college
21) I’ve lost 19 lbs this summer
22) I want to lose sooooo much more!
23) I was named after my mom’s friend who died when she was 6
24) I was always disappointed as a kid that I couldn’t find anything with my name on it (pencils, shirts, shoe laces)
25) I have more friends that are male than female
26) I come across as confident but I am so often full of self doubt
27) I still cry every time I watch Steel Magnolias
28) My favorite tv show is Deadliest Catch http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/deadliestcatch/deadliestcatch.html
29) I have a thing for firemen
30) My speed skating coach was also the US Olympic Coach
31) I love my girls and don’t feel like I get enough time with them
32) I like to be alone and don’t feel like I get enough alone time
33) I have been trying for years to come up with an idea for a tattoo that would be perfect for me
34) I don’t think that I am a tattoo type
35) My grandmother who raised me hasn’t spoken to me in 2 years and I miss her deeply
36) I have worked on a crisis hotline
37) I spent a lot of time drinking with my friends when I was in college
38) I wish that I could do it again
39) I sat with the 1990 Portland Trailblazers in the Salt Lake airport chatting and laughing and didn’t realize, until people started asking for autographs, that they were famous
40) I never skipped a class in high school
41) I’ve never smoked a cigarette
42) I want to go to Hawaii
43) I think Glacier Park is one of the most beautiful places on Earth and I feel at peace there
44) I can’t wait to go whitewater rafting with my girls again
45) I want to finish my novel because I don’t want to go to work everyday
46) I would rather have a job where I make/build something than the consulting work that I do now
47) I did the majority of the work on the tile floor in my kitchen/entry way
48) I got my first hole in one on the day after my 36th birthday, on 8/16/08 on the 16th hole (my annual horoscope said 6 would be an important number)
49) I am a horrid procrastinator
50) I am a list maker, and yes sometimes I add things that I’ve already accomplished to a list just because I like to cross them off
51) I had a hysterectomy right after my 30th birthday
52) I have a horrific fear of getting cancer
53) I do the Susan G. Komen race with my girls (and Greg) every year and I’ve made them promise to do it with me when they are my age http://www.raceforthecure.com/

54) I was a tom boy when I was growing up
55) I act like a mother hen to everyone
56) I should have been a psychologist
57) If I won the lottery I would by a huge chunk of land in Morro Bay or Pismo Beach and build

houses for my family so we could all live close
58) I have read all of the Harry Potter books
59) When I was growing up I wanted to be Babe Didrikson
60) I had a huge crush on Rick Springfield …and I’m guessing you did too!

61) I have horrible taste in music and listen to more old stuff than new (see #60)
62) A good friend of mine died when we were 16 and a lot of times when I am worrying about something I have a dream that we are sitting around talking about it
63) I sometimes like to watch Hannah Montana with the girls
64) It sometimes hurts my feelings that Abbey doesn’t want to be chatty with me (or anyone else)
65) It sometimes drives me crazy that Emily wants to chat all the time!
66) I love to play cards
67) I love to play board games
68) I love to scrapbook and wish I could find more time to do it
69) I am afraid to fly
70) I love my in-laws as if they were my own
71) Loving my in-laws only makes me miss my family more
72) I would love to be a stay at home mom
73) I love to crochet
74) I want to learn to knit
75) I want to go on a big road trip with my sisters
76) I swear like a sailor (must be why I like Deadliest Catch!)
77) I feel like I’m home whenever I am in a town on the west coast
78) I’ve never been to Florida
79) I can’t sew worth a flip
80) I wish I could sew
81) I punched a guy who threw beer on my sister (he dropped to the ground)
82) I have two brothers that I would like to get to know better
83) I love to paint (housing interiors not pictures)
84) I have no artistic talent at all!
85) I had an art teacher think I was deranged because I made a mosaic of a gumball machine with people inside
86) I love watching the chef competition shows
87) I would love to be a better cook
88) I love to bake
89) I’ve taken cake decorating courses
90) I am a geek!
91) I’d rather be a beauty!
92) I am completely addicted to Bare Minerals make up and I have become a pusher of it to everyone else http://www.bareescentuals.com/ (really I don't get any kickbacks!)
93) More and more I can’t stand clutter
94) I want to be more organized
95) I want to have more fun with my husband
96) I hate for anyone to workout with me
97) I love the workouts on exercise tv
98) I believe I am a good mom
99) I am a good friend
100) I am a staunch Democrat and do things for campaigns every year http://www.moveon.org/
101) I love techie gadgets!

Trying to give them roots and wings...

As many of you know I love my birthday, well enough that I don't think of it as a day I think I should get to celebrate it the whole month. Maybe this is a Leo thing! :) Here I am on my birthday eve (yep its official birthday eve) and I am pondering the whole getting older thing.

Please keep in mind, I am usually not one of those women that is afraid to get old. In fact I am the opposite, I am thrilled that I am getting the chance to grow old. In fact sometimes when people ask how old I am, I say an age 5 - 10 years older just so they'll say, "wow you look great for your age"! he he I mean I'm still trying to convince everyone I'm really 67. Ok, so herein lies my issue. I want my kids to stop growing up so fast! A single statement today pushed me down this contemplative path. What was the comment you ask?

Well, here goes. The day started out innocuous enough because today was back to school day! (Yes I know it is so incredibly early for this!) And we had already been through the argument about wearing the new clothes and not the ratty basketball shorts, tshirt etc. that they wanted to wear. Now we had moved on to the, "Mom why do we have to take these same pictures every year?" discussion. Then the comment or rather statement was made, "You're not walking us in. Please don't".

I felt like my heart had been ripped out with piano wire. My girls simply wanted us to drop them at the curb, in fact, they didn't even want us to take a picture of them at school unless I could just do it from the car (and I did!) and it sucked! I was strong, and didn't berate them or wave and yell things like "Bye my babies!"

But once they were out of the car and Greg and I were on our way back to the house my torrent of emotion spewed forth pretty much like this.

Shanna: "Can you believe they wouldn't let me (yes me not us) walk them to their class room

Greg: "Yeah"

Shanna: "Don't you even feel a little bit sad that the day is now here where they don't want us around?"

Greg: "No"

Shanna: "Really?"

Greg: "Yeah"

Shanna: "What the hell is wrong with you?" (note my use of tact!)

Greg: "I would be worried if they did want us to and weren't confident enough to handle it on their own."

Shanna: That's right I have no comeback...I know this will amaze all of my friends because Shanna always has a comeback and apparently can talk about herself in 3rd person...but I truly didn't. He was right.

Man it ticks me off to have to say he's right.

I am proud of them! I AM! Hell, I'm proud of us for raising them to be independent, self-confident and strong. BUT, there's still that part of me that wants to walk them to class and watch their nervous smiles and kiss their foreheads and tell them that they will have a great day. I want them to tell them that I am proud of them and know they will do great things. But maybe they don't need me to tell them that or hold their hand because I may have already shown them.

And here are the pics from first day...

Trying to get back into blogging

I know that I have been a horrible bloggett because I have had notes from several people "UPDATE YOUR BLOG SLACKER!" So now its time to update!

I have to start where I left off...which is summer which in this day and age of weird school schedules is almost over because kids go back to school August 12th! YIKES! I miss the days of having Memorial Day to Labor day off. Seemed like there was a true break and there weren't so many days off during the school year.

On to summer!

We were very lucky to get to go to Montana this summer and even luckier to go to one of the prettiest places on earth GLACIER! Greg and the girls and I stayed in a forest service cabin "Owl Creek Cabin" Here is a pic...hard to believe there was that much snow in July!

Just kidding...this is a stock photo of the cabin. Its actually a lot bigger than it looks. Want to stay here? http://www.visitmt.com/categories/moreinfo.asp?IDRRecordId=13894&SiteId=1

If you want to stay in the back woods of Montana I fully recommend the forest service cabins. The best part of this one was the log that people have saved of their travels and stays in the cabin. We were completely grateful to whoever left a Banana Republic candle and completely in debt to whoever left the citronella candles because the mosquitoes there were the size of a Volkswagen.

So after our first night in the cabin we went on to Glacier for a whitewater rafting trip that was phenomenal. The only thing that I am miserable about is we didn't get any pics of us on the raft! We were on a raft with 2 couples from Massachusetts or as they would say close to the Hahbah. They were so cute. As we were going down the river Abbey commented that they sounded like the guys from Car Talk. If you want to hear them go to http://www.cartalk.com/.

To which Emily responded, I think Judy (one of the ladies) talks like Mrs. Potato Head from Toy Story. In case any of you haven't seen it I love the out takes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWMbCsubynI and then you will hear what our raft mates sounded like!

You too can have a whitewater adventure the next time you are in glacier http://www.glacierraftco.com/. You will have a great time! I know we did! When we got back to the launch point the Canadian visitors bureau was celebrating Canada Day. We were especially happy about this because this meant free hot dogs, soda, cotton candy, ice cream, cake and the best part of all...the bobsled!

After the kids woke up from the sugar coma (Thanks Canada!) We were off to the rest of Glacier. Going to the Sun Highway wasn't all the way open but we did get to see a lot of it.

Because of all of the late snow run off we saw a lot of water!

After we were worn out from Glacier we drove back to our hometown and got to spend some time on the lake and building a deck for Grandma's Lake house. The kids also spent a lot of time water skiing and tubing.

While we are at the lake house we like to drive in to PBurg which we go to for the candy store. Its called the Sweet Palace and they have every kind of candy imaginable. You can go into sugar shock just by walking through the door.

The other place that we hit is the Flint Creek Outdoors shop in PBurg. We like to go there because it links our Kansas-Montana lives because the guy that owns it is from Olathe! Check it out its a really cool store...http://www.blackfootriver.com/fco.html

Ok and finally...while we were home Barack Obama spent the 4th of July in our hometown.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPn5Lhuav54

Hope you are all having a great summer...I promise I'll be a more diligent bloggett...