Hey all,
Since I've had a few inquiries through Myspace messages I will give everyone the soccer update.
Emily's team took second place. She didn't play in the first game today because her mom is a weasel and told her to enjoy the birthday party, get a good night's sleep (she was the first one to sleep at the slumber party) drink a lot of water and then if her team went to the final match she could play...and they went to the final round...yee haw! They lost, in fact they pretty much got their butts kicked but all in all it was a good time. She was in good spirits and she played hard. A lot of the other girls on her team were more interested in squirting each other with their water bottles than playing soccer so Em got a lot of play time again. However, I was there to mitigate just how much time she had on the field.
Abbey's team won, not only did they win all of their games, they scored the most points and only had one goal scored against them. Abbey was especially proud of her slide goal. She slid at the ball, made it into the goal and wiped out their goalie. She is calling this the double whammy...ahhh I might be raising a Butte girl yet! :) Her team actually took first place before even playing the last game but they played anyway and they really played as a team. It is so neat now to see them passing and playing their positions instead of playing a game of mob ball.
We played on soccer fields that we hadn't played on before and they were fabulous. They had a beautiful view; lots of trees etc.; good parking, very central so that no matter where your games were you could get to them really easily; nice concessions and even more spectacular refs. I always appreciate fairness and consistency in the refs and these guys were top notch. We always do the tunnel for the girls after the games and one ref ran through as well...Cheerio!
The best part of the whole set up was the beautiful weather. Apparently that section of Johnson county can custom order beautiful weather because you couldn't have asked for prettier days. I hope we get to enjoy those fields again because they really are fabulous!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Trying to find my sanity...
So, as many of you know my husband was off to Vienna this week. Austria not Virginia...I have to say that because as I explained to someone that he was in Vienna, this person today said,"Virginia?" That would be a negatory, to steal a phrase from my absentee spouse. So while he is in Vienna (Austria) I had to deal with 2 kids+3 tournaments+1 birthday party+2 kids sleeping+11 games+2 pizzas+3 sunburns+and 1 major case of asthma and heat exhaustion=really busy days and a whole lot of fun. These girls played like rock stars. We still have 4 games to go but so far they have each scored goals, Abbey did her infamous flip throw in and Emily played so hard she nearly passed out. She was having a hard time breathing, collapsed and was turning blue in the last minute of play. Here's how that little time went...she hit the ground, and the ref blew the whistle, and I waited for a coach to run onto the field to bring her off. Alas the only one running onto the field was me and the 2 guys coaching looked at me like why in the hell aren't you running out there? It was kind of surreal to me and only because Greg will always run out there and bring the girl off of the field. So after I was calming her down and getting her squared away, parents from the other team came to our aid...or attempted to and several of them remarked on the fact that the coach didn't help and should have. However, Emily survived, she was pretty jazzed to let me know that she was the only one on her team that scored today and that she played the whole game and the coach never made her come off of the field!?! Keep in mind while she was playing I was at Abbey's game because I was responsible for signing the team in and ensuring parents were positive...which meant I had to keep myself in check! Which was easy today because our team shut everyone out. Not one goal scored against them! Woo Hoo! Had I been at Em's game I would have made sure that she had a little time to rest during the game so she wouldn't have been so worn out!
So we are now home, I have a messy house and I need to get some laundry done or girls won't have jersey's or soccer socks in the morning! yikes!
Weekends are supposed to be your time to rejuvenate and all that I feel like is crashing! I am exhausted! I just want to go to bed and sleep for a year...and I have to get up and repeat the whole deal tomorrow...and I'm not the one running up and down the field.
I have to say though that I wouldn't trade places with Greg for anything. I feel like a credit card commercial.
Entry Fees = 100.00
Snacks and gate fees = 30.00
Gas to get everywhere = 2000.00 (he he)
Getting to see my girls dominate on the field = Priceless!
This could also read what cost of finding my sanity = Priceless...and it will never happen...
So we are now home, I have a messy house and I need to get some laundry done or girls won't have jersey's or soccer socks in the morning! yikes!
Weekends are supposed to be your time to rejuvenate and all that I feel like is crashing! I am exhausted! I just want to go to bed and sleep for a year...and I have to get up and repeat the whole deal tomorrow...and I'm not the one running up and down the field.
I have to say though that I wouldn't trade places with Greg for anything. I feel like a credit card commercial.
Entry Fees = 100.00
Snacks and gate fees = 30.00
Gas to get everywhere = 2000.00 (he he)
Getting to see my girls dominate on the field = Priceless!
This could also read what cost of finding my sanity = Priceless...and it will never happen...
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Trying to give credit where credit is due...
I have to start this one out with an apology first...I am completely sorry to some amazing chicks that I left off of my last post. I have since come to my senses and need to acknowledge them and let them know that even though I was completely careless in leaving them off it is not because I don't think of them often and appreciate their friendship and sisterhood more than I can say so here is a tribute to them.
First off is my sister Mary. I would feel disingenuous to call her anything but sister. I love and value her deeply. We may have been raised by different parents but she is my sister through and through. We have supported each other through so many ups and downs in life that I truly can't remember a time in my life before we knew each other. Mary and I became friends in high school when we were strategically placed around the star football player in Chemistry class by the head football coach, aka Chem teacher. As we learned about covalent bonds we formed a few bonds of our own. When her brother, Greg, said he was going to ask me out she encouraged him with the following words, "she'd be a good sister in law!" Little did she know that she was sealing our fate as sisters. From there we've had many nights sitting at the bar acting as though we weren't drinking, days and nights discussing husbands, kids and life. I know and I hope she does too that when the chips are down we have each others' back. I appreciate her acceptance and love of me Forever and Always! Mary you are a true blessing and I love you dearly.
My friend Bev is the one chick I call sister soul. She gets me and loves me as me! She is Abbey's other mom and loves her and Em as much as I love Hailey and Britt. She has raised one daughter into adulthood to be a fun, kind spirit and Hailey is being raised to be as much of a gem as Britt and I couldn't ask for a better friend for Abbey.
If I could be 1/2 as good of a mom as Bev I will be doing well. She and I can go months without contact (which sucks!) but can feel as though we've been side by side day in and day out. She is a friend that is kind, and compassionate and will have your back no matter what. Bev, I love you more than my luggage!
Carin is another fantastic, amazing woman. She is one of my only friends that has my same political view so that alone puts her @ hero status. She is brilliant, kind, funny and a fantastic mom. I value her friendship more than I can ever say or repay! Carin is creative and more intelligent than I can describe (and I'm not just saying that because she mimics my political leanings!) She is another friend that I don't get a lot of time with these days, but we can fall in step as though we've been together day in and day out. She and her sisters have learned sisterhood well and I so love and appreciate her for it.
Jen is my other girlie that I don't get to see enough of and now that she is going to be moving I will probably see less of her which really makes me sad! I love this chick and I'm going to have to invent ways and things to do so that I maintain that touch point. She is one of the prettiest people I have ever met and I think this is made more so by the fact that she is extremely sweet and kind as well as incredibly intelligent. She is another friend that I can always count on and who always has my back. Not only is she a kick ass friend but she is a kick ass wife and mother and I learn something from her every year. I don't tell her enough how important she is to me so I hope she'll stop by the blog and see what I have to say! Jen you my friend are a truly class act and if you were a bombshell in a past life you would have been Audrey Hepburn because you have got it all going on and you are nice to boot, I can't tell you enough how much your kindness and friendship have meant and I only hope that no matter how far apart we may be geographically that we will maintain that friendship!
Mary Beth is the newest addition. You have quickly become my sounding board and I so appreciate you for it. You are one of the wittiest people I know and I so appreciate a quick witted friend. You are beautiful, inside and out and I am so glad that we are becoming friends and LYLAS! he he
Thank you to all of you for being my friend and putting up with me! YOU ROCK!!!
First off is my sister Mary. I would feel disingenuous to call her anything but sister. I love and value her deeply. We may have been raised by different parents but she is my sister through and through. We have supported each other through so many ups and downs in life that I truly can't remember a time in my life before we knew each other. Mary and I became friends in high school when we were strategically placed around the star football player in Chemistry class by the head football coach, aka Chem teacher. As we learned about covalent bonds we formed a few bonds of our own. When her brother, Greg, said he was going to ask me out she encouraged him with the following words, "she'd be a good sister in law!" Little did she know that she was sealing our fate as sisters. From there we've had many nights sitting at the bar acting as though we weren't drinking, days and nights discussing husbands, kids and life. I know and I hope she does too that when the chips are down we have each others' back. I appreciate her acceptance and love of me Forever and Always! Mary you are a true blessing and I love you dearly.
My friend Bev is the one chick I call sister soul. She gets me and loves me as me! She is Abbey's other mom and loves her and Em as much as I love Hailey and Britt. She has raised one daughter into adulthood to be a fun, kind spirit and Hailey is being raised to be as much of a gem as Britt and I couldn't ask for a better friend for Abbey.
If I could be 1/2 as good of a mom as Bev I will be doing well. She and I can go months without contact (which sucks!) but can feel as though we've been side by side day in and day out. She is a friend that is kind, and compassionate and will have your back no matter what. Bev, I love you more than my luggage!
Carin is another fantastic, amazing woman. She is one of my only friends that has my same political view so that alone puts her @ hero status. She is brilliant, kind, funny and a fantastic mom. I value her friendship more than I can ever say or repay! Carin is creative and more intelligent than I can describe (and I'm not just saying that because she mimics my political leanings!) She is another friend that I don't get a lot of time with these days, but we can fall in step as though we've been together day in and day out. She and her sisters have learned sisterhood well and I so love and appreciate her for it.
Jen is my other girlie that I don't get to see enough of and now that she is going to be moving I will probably see less of her which really makes me sad! I love this chick and I'm going to have to invent ways and things to do so that I maintain that touch point. She is one of the prettiest people I have ever met and I think this is made more so by the fact that she is extremely sweet and kind as well as incredibly intelligent. She is another friend that I can always count on and who always has my back. Not only is she a kick ass friend but she is a kick ass wife and mother and I learn something from her every year. I don't tell her enough how important she is to me so I hope she'll stop by the blog and see what I have to say! Jen you my friend are a truly class act and if you were a bombshell in a past life you would have been Audrey Hepburn because you have got it all going on and you are nice to boot, I can't tell you enough how much your kindness and friendship have meant and I only hope that no matter how far apart we may be geographically that we will maintain that friendship!
Mary Beth is the newest addition. You have quickly become my sounding board and I so appreciate you for it. You are one of the wittiest people I know and I so appreciate a quick witted friend. You are beautiful, inside and out and I am so glad that we are becoming friends and LYLAS! he he
Thank you to all of you for being my friend and putting up with me! YOU ROCK!!!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Trying to give a shout out to amazing women...
OK, so I have to blog about amazing women. I have already praised my sister Farrah so I have to let people know that I have some great women in my life and its time I give a shout out. my SIL Lucy said she couldn't wait for a shout out from me on my blog so this is my chance. Which means that I also have to give a shout out to my sister Kelley or she'll pout! :) And then there's my friends Lisa and Laurie who have been my friends forever, and my friend Tammy who has been a fabulous girlfriend and the latest addition to my blessed life my BBFF Kendra.
Before I start just to cover all my bases I have to tell you again that my sister Farrah is the coolest! If you ask my girls how they got so cool they will tell you Auntie Rah Rah...and they are right. Its hard to be that F$%&ing great, cool and beautiful.
So I am going to start with my sisame Kelley and I'll move on to my sista Lucy, my sistas Lisa and Laurie, my Kansas chicks Tammy and Kendra who really are Butte girls at heart.
First of all my sister Kelley is a beautiful person and I love her dearly. She is a great mom (even if sometimes she sounds like our mom) and she is a great person. She is kind enough to donate free haircuts to locks of love and has given numerous makeovers, gratis no less to women who couldn't afford the wonders that she works. She has performed miracles on me and as my friend Tammy and my husband will tell you I have never looked better than after she has given my makeover. The common thread among all of these great chicks is the fact that they all make me laugh. I will tell you one story for each that is a good chick laughing. My most memorable laugh with my sister was the day that we were shopping together. The first laugh was the fact that we were singing along to a song, both professing how much we love the song, and the only real words either of us knew was part of the chorus and a few other words so we are singing and moving our mouths like we know the words and then only saying the words that we knew so it went something like this, "I've gone from Phoenix Arizona, all the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia Atlanta LA....mumble along while we move our mouths) and then say phrases like "I really know this part" move my mouth along and still not know the words...But the best part of the day was being in a store trying on different things, and laughing about everything until the store clerk had to come over and say in a very stern reprimanding tone, "Girls!" This came after I saw a very cute day-glow, furry, green vest that I tried on and my sister said, you look like the Grinch...to which I replied no I don't I look like the Abominable snowman from the one Christmas movie" Just the words Abominable Snowman makes us both laugh.
Then there is my sil Lucy, who has come to not be thought of as an inlaw at all. She is one of my soul sistahs. I first have to give a shout out to her for her strength but this is coupled with her beauty inside and out. She puts up with the whole Loewen clan and is joyful about the whole thing. While her husband was in Iraq she found out she was pregnant and she handled it all with much grace. She was stronger than most of us would be in the same circumstance. Lucy and I have the most amazing bond that comes from truly "getting" one another. We have had ups and downs and we can always vent to each other. Its amazing to have a cool chick that knows my in-laws just like I do, can relate to everything I say and loves me anyway. When we are together we can simply make eye contact and know exactly what the other is thinking. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't have matching rings so we could do the whole wonder twin power thing. The most memorable laugh that Lucy and I have had has to be when we were in Montana for our brother in law's wedding. We got to sharing some funny stories and by the time everyone got back to the house the two of us were rolling around on the floor laughing...seriously I fell to the floor in fits of giggles and from that point on of that trip we would see each other and the laughter would begin again.
Lisa and I have been friends since 5th grade. She is beautiful inside and out, not to mention one of my first truly smart friends. This friendship has weathered, different schools, boyfriends, college, jobs, marriage, kids, and 1400 miles. We can pick up like we haven't been apart even if its been 5 years since we've seen each other. She is an amazing mom, colleague, and friend. I don't know how I would have survived without her. We had more crazy nights, friends, and experiences together than probably anyone and I can think of thousands of laughs that we've had. We spent many an hour trying to come up with the best electric jello concoction and on many an occasion we succeeded. I can remember one night in particular, drinking our hearts out when Lisa was all excited to have finally made it to the airplane. (We had been refilling her drink all night) The thought of that night makes me laugh.
Laurie is about to experience motherhood and I know she will be great at it. She is not only beautiful and smart but she is kind. She is the one that remembers not only every one's birthday but our anniversaries as well. Laurie and I can always find some inane topic to discuss that will have us laughing. Most of the time our phone conversations sound like a Seinfeld episode. The funniest of all nights had to be the time that she was trying out her trick of unbuttoning the button fly with one tug. She had had limited success with this feat until she was in a crowded bar and performed the tug on a friend of ours and success it worked. This was joyous for her, humorous for me, mortifying for her subject, and downright despicable to the girlfriend of the subject. Which somehow turned into a reason for the girlfriend to hate me which became an even bigger reason for us to laugh. HE HE
For my other sistah Tammy. Tammy has come to know the good, the bad, and the ugly about me and still finds reason to be my friend. My favorite thing about Tammy is when something has me really pissed off she will say "Do you want me to kick their ass?" which makes me believe that she is a Butte girl at heart! :) Keep in mind that is not a title I would bestow on just anyone. You have to really rank high with me to be welcomed into the ranks of Butte girl. Had I called her a Walkerville chick she would have reason to want to scrap but being regarded as a Butte chick is a high honor. One of our greatest laughs has to be the time that we were with someone that is not as refined as we are (read ready to kick some ass) and we were discussing someone we both despise. We were discussing how this particular person wore really horrid lipstick and we decided that it could only be called Bitch Face brown. Whether it was the alcohol, or the thought of Estee Lauder slapping that name on a tube, we laughed and laughed about that...and will laugh if we bring it up. We have many sessions like this and if others were as cool as us, they would laugh too.
Then there is my friend Kendra. Kendra is another chick that is funny, smart and beautiful. Kendra is one of the kindest souls who really puts a lot of effort into her friendships and it makes me want to kick the ass of anyone that has ever taken advantage of it. She is beautiful (and recently became boobalicious) and the two of us will be BBFFs forever and ever. She is another one that would have your back no matter what. I can tell you that we can find humor in the silliest things when we are together. She makes me laugh from my toes. the funniest of all had to be the day we were coming back from lunch and an Arab man gave us the craziest look. So I had to put on my Arabic accent and say, "You with the princess car, go home, you are not deserving of working you should be home" To this day all I have to say is princess car and the two of us crack up. I always know that if I need someone she will be there. Again, I don't bestow the Butte girl title often but she ranks right up there. She and I clicked from day one. May be that experience with Fancy Pants but it was a bond that will last a lifetime.
OK, so I think I've covered the important chicks. If I have inadvertently left anyone out please do not feel bad its due to lack of sleep and not due to your importance in my life.
I've probably waxed poetic long enough but I do want to say to each and every one of you. Thank you for your friendship, for letting me vent, for putting up with my ever changing moods and most of all for all of the great laughs. You all help me get through this crazy life and you make me glad to be along for the ride.
Before I start just to cover all my bases I have to tell you again that my sister Farrah is the coolest! If you ask my girls how they got so cool they will tell you Auntie Rah Rah...and they are right. Its hard to be that F$%&ing great, cool and beautiful.
So I am going to start with my sisame Kelley and I'll move on to my sista Lucy, my sistas Lisa and Laurie, my Kansas chicks Tammy and Kendra who really are Butte girls at heart.
First of all my sister Kelley is a beautiful person and I love her dearly. She is a great mom (even if sometimes she sounds like our mom) and she is a great person. She is kind enough to donate free haircuts to locks of love and has given numerous makeovers, gratis no less to women who couldn't afford the wonders that she works. She has performed miracles on me and as my friend Tammy and my husband will tell you I have never looked better than after she has given my makeover. The common thread among all of these great chicks is the fact that they all make me laugh. I will tell you one story for each that is a good chick laughing. My most memorable laugh with my sister was the day that we were shopping together. The first laugh was the fact that we were singing along to a song, both professing how much we love the song, and the only real words either of us knew was part of the chorus and a few other words so we are singing and moving our mouths like we know the words and then only saying the words that we knew so it went something like this, "I've gone from Phoenix Arizona, all the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia Atlanta LA....mumble along while we move our mouths) and then say phrases like "I really know this part" move my mouth along and still not know the words...But the best part of the day was being in a store trying on different things, and laughing about everything until the store clerk had to come over and say in a very stern reprimanding tone, "Girls!" This came after I saw a very cute day-glow, furry, green vest that I tried on and my sister said, you look like the Grinch...to which I replied no I don't I look like the Abominable snowman from the one Christmas movie" Just the words Abominable Snowman makes us both laugh.
Then there is my sil Lucy, who has come to not be thought of as an inlaw at all. She is one of my soul sistahs. I first have to give a shout out to her for her strength but this is coupled with her beauty inside and out. She puts up with the whole Loewen clan and is joyful about the whole thing. While her husband was in Iraq she found out she was pregnant and she handled it all with much grace. She was stronger than most of us would be in the same circumstance. Lucy and I have the most amazing bond that comes from truly "getting" one another. We have had ups and downs and we can always vent to each other. Its amazing to have a cool chick that knows my in-laws just like I do, can relate to everything I say and loves me anyway. When we are together we can simply make eye contact and know exactly what the other is thinking. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't have matching rings so we could do the whole wonder twin power thing. The most memorable laugh that Lucy and I have had has to be when we were in Montana for our brother in law's wedding. We got to sharing some funny stories and by the time everyone got back to the house the two of us were rolling around on the floor laughing...seriously I fell to the floor in fits of giggles and from that point on of that trip we would see each other and the laughter would begin again.
Lisa and I have been friends since 5th grade. She is beautiful inside and out, not to mention one of my first truly smart friends. This friendship has weathered, different schools, boyfriends, college, jobs, marriage, kids, and 1400 miles. We can pick up like we haven't been apart even if its been 5 years since we've seen each other. She is an amazing mom, colleague, and friend. I don't know how I would have survived without her. We had more crazy nights, friends, and experiences together than probably anyone and I can think of thousands of laughs that we've had. We spent many an hour trying to come up with the best electric jello concoction and on many an occasion we succeeded. I can remember one night in particular, drinking our hearts out when Lisa was all excited to have finally made it to the airplane. (We had been refilling her drink all night) The thought of that night makes me laugh.
Laurie is about to experience motherhood and I know she will be great at it. She is not only beautiful and smart but she is kind. She is the one that remembers not only every one's birthday but our anniversaries as well. Laurie and I can always find some inane topic to discuss that will have us laughing. Most of the time our phone conversations sound like a Seinfeld episode. The funniest of all nights had to be the time that she was trying out her trick of unbuttoning the button fly with one tug. She had had limited success with this feat until she was in a crowded bar and performed the tug on a friend of ours and success it worked. This was joyous for her, humorous for me, mortifying for her subject, and downright despicable to the girlfriend of the subject. Which somehow turned into a reason for the girlfriend to hate me which became an even bigger reason for us to laugh. HE HE
For my other sistah Tammy. Tammy has come to know the good, the bad, and the ugly about me and still finds reason to be my friend. My favorite thing about Tammy is when something has me really pissed off she will say "Do you want me to kick their ass?" which makes me believe that she is a Butte girl at heart! :) Keep in mind that is not a title I would bestow on just anyone. You have to really rank high with me to be welcomed into the ranks of Butte girl. Had I called her a Walkerville chick she would have reason to want to scrap but being regarded as a Butte chick is a high honor. One of our greatest laughs has to be the time that we were with someone that is not as refined as we are (read ready to kick some ass) and we were discussing someone we both despise. We were discussing how this particular person wore really horrid lipstick and we decided that it could only be called Bitch Face brown. Whether it was the alcohol, or the thought of Estee Lauder slapping that name on a tube, we laughed and laughed about that...and will laugh if we bring it up. We have many sessions like this and if others were as cool as us, they would laugh too.
Then there is my friend Kendra. Kendra is another chick that is funny, smart and beautiful. Kendra is one of the kindest souls who really puts a lot of effort into her friendships and it makes me want to kick the ass of anyone that has ever taken advantage of it. She is beautiful (and recently became boobalicious) and the two of us will be BBFFs forever and ever. She is another one that would have your back no matter what. I can tell you that we can find humor in the silliest things when we are together. She makes me laugh from my toes. the funniest of all had to be the day we were coming back from lunch and an Arab man gave us the craziest look. So I had to put on my Arabic accent and say, "You with the princess car, go home, you are not deserving of working you should be home" To this day all I have to say is princess car and the two of us crack up. I always know that if I need someone she will be there. Again, I don't bestow the Butte girl title often but she ranks right up there. She and I clicked from day one. May be that experience with Fancy Pants but it was a bond that will last a lifetime.
OK, so I think I've covered the important chicks. If I have inadvertently left anyone out please do not feel bad its due to lack of sleep and not due to your importance in my life.
I've probably waxed poetic long enough but I do want to say to each and every one of you. Thank you for your friendship, for letting me vent, for putting up with my ever changing moods and most of all for all of the great laughs. You all help me get through this crazy life and you make me glad to be along for the ride.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Trying not to cry...
Ok, so I've been a really poor blogger. Ok, let me rephrase that, I know I'm a poor blogger, but I've done a poor job of posting anything new!
So to turn a phrase from the great Kim Possible, Here's the sitch. I'm off an another trip today. I can remember when I thought a little bit of travel might be nice. It would be a chance for Greg to have to deal with everything I had to deal with while he traveled. However, instead all I'm finding is that I'm dealing with everything he had to deal with while he traveled. I had no idea that I would feel so lonesome or that I could miss my kids so much. I love when I get alone time but for some reason being a few hundred miles away from them is different when its on our terms and not under the steam of something else. Its one thing for them to visit friends/family and a completely other one for me to leave them. Maybe I have abandonment issues...ok I know I have abandonment issues. I just have to say that it really breaks my heart to see one of my little girls cry and ask through tear choked sobs, "why do you have to go?" The thing is, they're going to be adults for a long time, and I'm already seeing glimpses of them not wanting to be with me (gasp!) but I can't handle being the one to have to leave them. I hate knowing that I put them through some pain everytime I leave for the airport. Maybe when they're teenagers I'll want to willingly leave them but for right now, I want to hold them, kiss them good night, put that extra blanket on them before I go to sleep and hear their sweet voices in the morning when they wake up.
So I'm getting ready to leave watching Abs across the room and I'm trying to be the big girl and not show my tears.
So to turn a phrase from the great Kim Possible, Here's the sitch. I'm off an another trip today. I can remember when I thought a little bit of travel might be nice. It would be a chance for Greg to have to deal with everything I had to deal with while he traveled. However, instead all I'm finding is that I'm dealing with everything he had to deal with while he traveled. I had no idea that I would feel so lonesome or that I could miss my kids so much. I love when I get alone time but for some reason being a few hundred miles away from them is different when its on our terms and not under the steam of something else. Its one thing for them to visit friends/family and a completely other one for me to leave them. Maybe I have abandonment issues...ok I know I have abandonment issues. I just have to say that it really breaks my heart to see one of my little girls cry and ask through tear choked sobs, "why do you have to go?" The thing is, they're going to be adults for a long time, and I'm already seeing glimpses of them not wanting to be with me (gasp!) but I can't handle being the one to have to leave them. I hate knowing that I put them through some pain everytime I leave for the airport. Maybe when they're teenagers I'll want to willingly leave them but for right now, I want to hold them, kiss them good night, put that extra blanket on them before I go to sleep and hear their sweet voices in the morning when they wake up.
So I'm getting ready to leave watching Abs across the room and I'm trying to be the big girl and not show my tears.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Trying to tell my sister Happy Birthday!
Ok, so the other day my little sister wrote to let me know that I had forgotten to blog about how cool she is. So this one is for her.
My sister Farrah...for those that you don't know, her full name is Farrah Fawn! Anyway...Farrah is the youngest of us three girls. She is also the coolest. If you don't believe me just ask her. From the time she was a little girl she had her own sense of self. She had shoes that she called her Rock Bottom shoes (we had a thing for KISS), she had an invisible friend named Mikey who would spontaneously appear anywhere any of us happened to sit. This led to a lot of, "move, you are sitting on Mikey!" This Mikey character also had swimming pools that apparently could travel anywhere he did because often times when we moved we landed in his pool.
She eventually grew out of the Rock Bottom Mikey phase and we moved on to the New Kids on the Block...ok I couldn't help myself here, that is just too funny not to mention! HE HE HE
And it was during this time that making your own cassette tapes from songs on the radio was the thing to do! So she would do this...oftentimes to really good tapes that the rest of us had already made. That girl mastered the skill of putting scotch tape on the cassette to overwrite any tape there was! Which was cool...until it was your tape...and in the middle of your favorite song...which I think at the time was Girls Just want to Have Fun!!! And before Cindy's dad could even ask what you gonna do with your life...the words "Count Down AFARRAHCA" come blaring through...yep...nice!
Farrah has since grown out of her bad music taste...I will tell you that I haven't...I have to tell you that or she will.
Farrah, Kelley and I have all become great friends since those tense days of musical differences (Wait til Kelley's birthday and we talk about the Infection, I mean the Cure." And I know I speak for Kelley when I say...We Love you sister! Happy Birthday! Ok, I have to say it or she'll call me on it. You are my favorite. Kelley when you read this just know, I will say the same thing to you on your birthday and I expect you to all do the same for me!
Love ya!
My sister Farrah...for those that you don't know, her full name is Farrah Fawn! Anyway...Farrah is the youngest of us three girls. She is also the coolest. If you don't believe me just ask her. From the time she was a little girl she had her own sense of self. She had shoes that she called her Rock Bottom shoes (we had a thing for KISS), she had an invisible friend named Mikey who would spontaneously appear anywhere any of us happened to sit. This led to a lot of, "move, you are sitting on Mikey!" This Mikey character also had swimming pools that apparently could travel anywhere he did because often times when we moved we landed in his pool.
She eventually grew out of the Rock Bottom Mikey phase and we moved on to the New Kids on the Block...ok I couldn't help myself here, that is just too funny not to mention! HE HE HE
And it was during this time that making your own cassette tapes from songs on the radio was the thing to do! So she would do this...oftentimes to really good tapes that the rest of us had already made. That girl mastered the skill of putting scotch tape on the cassette to overwrite any tape there was! Which was cool...until it was your tape...and in the middle of your favorite song...which I think at the time was Girls Just want to Have Fun!!! And before Cindy's dad could even ask what you gonna do with your life...the words "Count Down AFARRAHCA" come blaring through...yep...nice!
Farrah has since grown out of her bad music taste...I will tell you that I haven't...I have to tell you that or she will.
Farrah, Kelley and I have all become great friends since those tense days of musical differences (Wait til Kelley's birthday and we talk about the Infection, I mean the Cure." And I know I speak for Kelley when I say...We Love you sister! Happy Birthday! Ok, I have to say it or she'll call me on it. You are my favorite. Kelley when you read this just know, I will say the same thing to you on your birthday and I expect you to all do the same for me!
Love ya!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Trying to realize they won't be babies forever...
So last night I had a harsh realization. My girls aren't babies anymore. If I take them to the playground they are now the big kids. It was 3 days ago when I would take them to the park and I would have to watch their every move because they were so little and the other kids were sooooo big. I used to have to lift them to the rings and on to the swing and now they can do it all on their own. However, swings and rings aside I came to the realization last night because of the books that were chosen for bedtime.
First of all let me just say that Emily went crazy and begged for an MP3 player and the Easter Bunny delivered. She wanted this device so that she could listen to stories in her room just like the rest of us. Audio books are something we all consume as if its a much needed DNA sequence that will make us cease to exist if we don't have it. So the first quake in my foundation was Emily's lack of interest in me reading to her last night because she wanted to let her story put her to sleep.
The second glimpse of their vanishing babydom was the choice of books that Abbey was reading. She's now reading books with titles that scare me "Wait til Helen Comes" and then the titles about teenagers. She's really into this series called "The Clique" Wait a second...What happened to the Magic Tree House ? Shouldn't she be climbing up and seeing what century she's going to next? Most of all what happened to Junie B. Jones? Junie is supposed to be the one Abs is hanging out with, not about some girls in a clique. I'm pretty sure that Junie B. and That Grace didn't start a clique! Sheesh. And this made me remember the sweet satisfaction that I got when I got my first Sweet Valley High books. I would read them in one sitting like a bulimic without an audience. And then I couldn't wait to get my next fix. I can remember when Tricia died and thinking that I'd never get over it. I think she was the first young person that I "knew" that died. I couldn't imagine anything more tragic. And then I realized that maybe I'm not just wishing that their growing up would slow down but that mine would run in reverse. I can remember being their ages and the friends I had and my "passions". It seems like I shouldn't be old enough to have kids let alone those in the tween ages. And if my time from then to now had zipped by so quickly that only means that their time will pass just as quickly. This was a gentle reminder to enjoy each day.
So after I tucked them in and went to bed and started reading my book something way too adult for someone reminiscing about Sweet Valley High. I read for a while and went to check on the girls and kiss them one more time before I fell asleep. I checked on Abbey first, kissed her forehead and noticed how she still sucks her lip just like she did when she was first born and caught a glimpse of the baby still such a part of her. Then I went in and tucked Emily's Bz, aka blankie, around her and kissed her sweet face, I could still see the baby that she was (and still is in my mind) by the soft curve of her cheek even if it was laying on a Hannah Montana pillowcase instead of Barney.
First of all let me just say that Emily went crazy and begged for an MP3 player and the Easter Bunny delivered. She wanted this device so that she could listen to stories in her room just like the rest of us. Audio books are something we all consume as if its a much needed DNA sequence that will make us cease to exist if we don't have it. So the first quake in my foundation was Emily's lack of interest in me reading to her last night because she wanted to let her story put her to sleep.
The second glimpse of their vanishing babydom was the choice of books that Abbey was reading. She's now reading books with titles that scare me "Wait til Helen Comes" and then the titles about teenagers. She's really into this series called "The Clique" Wait a second...What happened to the Magic Tree House ? Shouldn't she be climbing up and seeing what century she's going to next? Most of all what happened to Junie B. Jones? Junie is supposed to be the one Abs is hanging out with, not about some girls in a clique. I'm pretty sure that Junie B. and That Grace didn't start a clique! Sheesh. And this made me remember the sweet satisfaction that I got when I got my first Sweet Valley High books. I would read them in one sitting like a bulimic without an audience. And then I couldn't wait to get my next fix. I can remember when Tricia died and thinking that I'd never get over it. I think she was the first young person that I "knew" that died. I couldn't imagine anything more tragic. And then I realized that maybe I'm not just wishing that their growing up would slow down but that mine would run in reverse. I can remember being their ages and the friends I had and my "passions". It seems like I shouldn't be old enough to have kids let alone those in the tween ages. And if my time from then to now had zipped by so quickly that only means that their time will pass just as quickly. This was a gentle reminder to enjoy each day.
So after I tucked them in and went to bed and started reading my book something way too adult for someone reminiscing about Sweet Valley High. I read for a while and went to check on the girls and kiss them one more time before I fell asleep. I checked on Abbey first, kissed her forehead and noticed how she still sucks her lip just like she did when she was first born and caught a glimpse of the baby still such a part of her. Then I went in and tucked Emily's Bz, aka blankie, around her and kissed her sweet face, I could still see the baby that she was (and still is in my mind) by the soft curve of her cheek even if it was laying on a Hannah Montana pillowcase instead of Barney.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Trying not to wax poetic...
I have to tell you that this was a bittersweet Easter. It was another Easter where we didn't have any family but the four of us in our little family. Since we are back to being the lone Kansas Loewens it is kind of a weird deal. We've had all kinds of Easters since we've been here, just us 4, us + Greg's parents, us + my sister, other Greg and the boys (yes its official I call my brother in law Greg, "Other Greg" and then back to just us 4 again. I have completely mixed emotions about this. I like when the 4 of us get time to be together, especially after Greg and I both have been traveling so much and having so many things that we "have" to do. It was kind of nice to run Easter at our own pace. But, as the girls were on their wild egg hunt...more on that later. I truly missed having someone else to take part in that fun with us. I missed the B.A.D. boys. I missed waiting on my sister and Other Greg...ha ha just kidding about the waiting on them...inside joke to my sistah. I missed my in-laws (which kind of makes me an outlaw) and my father in-law's great clues and breakfast that I didn't have to make but just show up for. I used to think that it was so much work to have family around to "deal" with, now I know what it means to say labor of love. Because isn't that what it all comes down to? That pure and basic love?
I love my girls more than I could ever aptly describe. They bring me joy. They give my life real meaning and to manipulate a bad line from a good movie, "They make me want to be a better person." Most of all they make me want to share every second of their life with the people that are important to me.
I love my girls more than I could ever aptly describe. They bring me joy. They give my life real meaning and to manipulate a bad line from a good movie, "They make me want to be a better person." Most of all they make me want to share every second of their life with the people that are important to me.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Trying not to take credit...
So, to redeem myself from my last post I want to write about an amazing turn of events that also, as it happens, coincides with Easter.
A few months ago, my sister Kelley and I were talking about things we wanted. She stated that she really wanted to find her husband, Greg's mother. I probably have my details mixed up but I believe they had been apart for over 20 years. This could be false data but its somewhere in that neighborhood. I told Kelley, with a false sense of bravado, that with a few keystrokes and $10.00 we could probably have her phone number in minutes. So, I googled the name and put in a few other details ...and up popped a name, and an address, and a phone number, and her list of relatives...and Greg was listed. We both sat with that bewildered sense of "Wow! Guess what we've done!!" I could feel that awe emanating across the entire gap from TX to KS. I think we both had chills. Kelley hung up with me, called Greg and asked a few questions about other relatives that were listed to narrow down that yes, this was in fact his mom...and it was! Kelley, being her beautiful, impulsive self, couldn't wait to call her. She wanted her to know how wonderful her son is, what an amazing dad he is to her boys and what a great man he had become...and yes probably that she is a kick-ass catch for him as well!
And she called her.
I probably wouldn't have been as brave. I would have over-analyzed, talked myself into and out of calling her. I would have wondered if Greg would have hurt feelings when he talked to her, anger, sadness or worse indifference. That comes from all of the mixed up feelings from our own childhood. My sisters, and brothers and I all grew up apart, yet still feel very close. We all still live apart but truly we all know how monumentally important we are to each other. I probably would have worried what his mom would have to say. I would be afraid that she would have anger or resentment or worse indifference. I think that would have been the hardest thing for me. Worrying that someone would be rejecting someone that is so important to me. But Kelley wasn't. She got to talk to her mother in law, Greg got to talk to his mom. No anger, judgment, or indifference. Just gratitude at finding each other. Graciousness that Kelley reached out and did something neither of them had been able to do.
After a few weeks of phone calls their new found family member was coming to stay with them. In that short time Kelley gained a mother-in-law and the boys gained a G.G. (Grandma from Greg) She is there right now, with my beautiful nephews, becoming part of their life, of my sister's life and becoming a tangible part of Greg's life again. As his mother she was always part of his life. I'm sure like any of us, there is always that point in the day when his parents cross his mind. But its different when you have the ability to pick up the phone and talk to them. Even if you don't pick up the phone, you know you can. For Greg's mom, she gets to see that they are a true family. Greg became part of our family instantly. We were so grateful that Kelley had someone that would love her unconditionally and better than that would love the boys unconditionally. They are proof that despite our pasts or maybe because of them we all have the ability to move on and create a family by being a family.
So this Easter, while many of will be marvelling at the candy, or the flowers, or the fact that Spring is here and its even starting to look like it. And despite the normal sibling hassling that my sister and I do, I will stop giving her grief that I made it all happen (I keep waiting for my invitation to be on Oprah because I made it all come true!) I will be thankful for knowing that a mother's love is in many forms, never dies, and can be a bond from one mom to another even if they aren't even related.
A few months ago, my sister Kelley and I were talking about things we wanted. She stated that she really wanted to find her husband, Greg's mother. I probably have my details mixed up but I believe they had been apart for over 20 years. This could be false data but its somewhere in that neighborhood. I told Kelley, with a false sense of bravado, that with a few keystrokes and $10.00 we could probably have her phone number in minutes. So, I googled the name and put in a few other details ...and up popped a name, and an address, and a phone number, and her list of relatives...and Greg was listed. We both sat with that bewildered sense of "Wow! Guess what we've done!!" I could feel that awe emanating across the entire gap from TX to KS. I think we both had chills. Kelley hung up with me, called Greg and asked a few questions about other relatives that were listed to narrow down that yes, this was in fact his mom...and it was! Kelley, being her beautiful, impulsive self, couldn't wait to call her. She wanted her to know how wonderful her son is, what an amazing dad he is to her boys and what a great man he had become...and yes probably that she is a kick-ass catch for him as well!
And she called her.
I probably wouldn't have been as brave. I would have over-analyzed, talked myself into and out of calling her. I would have wondered if Greg would have hurt feelings when he talked to her, anger, sadness or worse indifference. That comes from all of the mixed up feelings from our own childhood. My sisters, and brothers and I all grew up apart, yet still feel very close. We all still live apart but truly we all know how monumentally important we are to each other. I probably would have worried what his mom would have to say. I would be afraid that she would have anger or resentment or worse indifference. I think that would have been the hardest thing for me. Worrying that someone would be rejecting someone that is so important to me. But Kelley wasn't. She got to talk to her mother in law, Greg got to talk to his mom. No anger, judgment, or indifference. Just gratitude at finding each other. Graciousness that Kelley reached out and did something neither of them had been able to do.
After a few weeks of phone calls their new found family member was coming to stay with them. In that short time Kelley gained a mother-in-law and the boys gained a G.G. (Grandma from Greg) She is there right now, with my beautiful nephews, becoming part of their life, of my sister's life and becoming a tangible part of Greg's life again. As his mother she was always part of his life. I'm sure like any of us, there is always that point in the day when his parents cross his mind. But its different when you have the ability to pick up the phone and talk to them. Even if you don't pick up the phone, you know you can. For Greg's mom, she gets to see that they are a true family. Greg became part of our family instantly. We were so grateful that Kelley had someone that would love her unconditionally and better than that would love the boys unconditionally. They are proof that despite our pasts or maybe because of them we all have the ability to move on and create a family by being a family.
So this Easter, while many of will be marvelling at the candy, or the flowers, or the fact that Spring is here and its even starting to look like it. And despite the normal sibling hassling that my sister and I do, I will stop giving her grief that I made it all happen (I keep waiting for my invitation to be on Oprah because I made it all come true!) I will be thankful for knowing that a mother's love is in many forms, never dies, and can be a bond from one mom to another even if they aren't even related.
Trying to track my bracket...
Ok, so its basketball time. Living in Kansas has made me pay more attention to my brackets than I did the years in school where we got extra credit for each round we picked the right teams...I know quality education...but it did get me an "A" in Algebra II! This guy's belief was "I get paid whether you learn or not!"
So as I'm filling out my bracket I started to ponder how NCAA basketball playoffs coincide with Easter...and further more there are a few religious schools on there. Coincidence? I think not! This made me ponder some very strange considerations so indulge my weird brain for a few minutes. I know why and how all those Catholic schools got to the playoffs, if you have ever been to Catholic school you know that there is a big push to get into sports! Hell for a long time in church we were praying to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Lou Holtz! Praise to God the Fath'r, His Son Jaysus, and of course the blessed Fightin' Irish. And you will also know that there are always sign ups for CYA sports right after mass! But, how does Oral Roberts justify a basketball team? Is the thought here that Jesus wasn't merely leading the Apostles but rather their team captain? I mean think about it 11 plus Jesus (and before anyone writes to me...it could be counted as 12 if you count Paul...maybe he's just the coach or the water boy?) That sounds like a team to me?! So Jesus wasn't merely having brilliant talks with the Apostles he was coming up with plays, strategies, a better defense. Think about it! It could be true!
So getting back to the whole Oral Roberts thing. I would think that this competitive basketball "stuff" would get into the way of the praying and being repentant. And if they have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior why haven't they won the whole shebang? I look at the stats and I'm starting to think maybe you need to take part in a few sins to get in to that final bracket! I mean, Kentucky has 7 titles and their main industries are tobacco and whiskey! UCLA notoriously known as a party school and let's not forget my fave in the 90's UNLV!...umm...sin city?! I also noticed that while the Irish have never won a title in basketball they have other schools there helping them out Holy Cross, Loyola...
I know that there are a lot of women would probably be looking at the teams picking based on uniform color or how cute the mascot is, I for one will be looking to see which team would kick the others ass in a bar fight. You can take the girl out of Butte, but you can't take the Butte out of the girl...and if you tried to...back to the Butte motto...I'd kick your ass! :)
So as I'm filling out my bracket I started to ponder how NCAA basketball playoffs coincide with Easter...and further more there are a few religious schools on there. Coincidence? I think not! This made me ponder some very strange considerations so indulge my weird brain for a few minutes. I know why and how all those Catholic schools got to the playoffs, if you have ever been to Catholic school you know that there is a big push to get into sports! Hell for a long time in church we were praying to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Lou Holtz! Praise to God the Fath'r, His Son Jaysus, and of course the blessed Fightin' Irish. And you will also know that there are always sign ups for CYA sports right after mass! But, how does Oral Roberts justify a basketball team? Is the thought here that Jesus wasn't merely leading the Apostles but rather their team captain? I mean think about it 11 plus Jesus (and before anyone writes to me...it could be counted as 12 if you count Paul...maybe he's just the coach or the water boy?) That sounds like a team to me?! So Jesus wasn't merely having brilliant talks with the Apostles he was coming up with plays, strategies, a better defense. Think about it! It could be true!
So getting back to the whole Oral Roberts thing. I would think that this competitive basketball "stuff" would get into the way of the praying and being repentant. And if they have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior why haven't they won the whole shebang? I look at the stats and I'm starting to think maybe you need to take part in a few sins to get in to that final bracket! I mean, Kentucky has 7 titles and their main industries are tobacco and whiskey! UCLA notoriously known as a party school and let's not forget my fave in the 90's UNLV!...umm...sin city?! I also noticed that while the Irish have never won a title in basketball they have other schools there helping them out Holy Cross, Loyola...
I know that there are a lot of women would probably be looking at the teams picking based on uniform color or how cute the mascot is, I for one will be looking to see which team would kick the others ass in a bar fight. You can take the girl out of Butte, but you can't take the Butte out of the girl...and if you tried to...back to the Butte motto...I'd kick your ass! :)
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Trying to read all the good books that I can...
For the last 6 years I have kept a journal of the books that I read. I don't know if I do this as a way of seeing how much I read or rather that I am short term memory chick and can't remember if I've read certain books or not and can always check my list. I always have friends ask about books and if I've read a certain book or not. This was a way for me to keep it on file. So the other day I had a friend ask me if I could give her my list so I have now posted it. It was fun looking back at the different titles that I've read. With some I could remember where I was when I was reading it (usually in Montana!) I am a complete no-nonsense reader. I will read just about anything and I have a few authors that when I need a good escape, I lean on (Janet Evanovich, Jane Green, Luanne Rice, Kristen Hannah, and though I am hesitant to admit my true guilty pleasure and you'll see her on my list...a lot in fact...Danielle Steel)
I love to read! I love books! And even though I love good stories I am not a book snob. I don't grab things to read based solely on what Oprah (or anyone for that matter) had to say about it (the books that I've read on Oprah's list almost make me feel as though I need Prozac!) I read as an escape, for a laugh, for something that will touch my heart, make me believe in passion, romance, intelligence, good triumphing over evil etc.
I read because I want to be the lawyer, bounty hunter, 5'9" intelligent beauty, hell even the princess. I want to marry Ranger 1/2 the time and Morelli the other 1/2. I would date the Weasley twins and play drinking games with Dumbledore. I've hung out with fun, young, hip chicks that struggle with jobs, love, men and parenting. I've visited different cities, countries, continents and centuries.
I've finally found a way to read good books or rather I've finally grown up enough that I can pitch a book if I don't get into it. Nancy Pearl had a great formula for this and I live by it. 100 - (your age) = the number of pages to give a book before you give up on it. Probably the best formula I've ever learned and definitely the only one beyond H20 that I've remembered. Take this advice! There are way too many good books to waste time on the bad ones.
I love to read! I love books! And even though I love good stories I am not a book snob. I don't grab things to read based solely on what Oprah (or anyone for that matter) had to say about it (the books that I've read on Oprah's list almost make me feel as though I need Prozac!) I read as an escape, for a laugh, for something that will touch my heart, make me believe in passion, romance, intelligence, good triumphing over evil etc.
I read because I want to be the lawyer, bounty hunter, 5'9" intelligent beauty, hell even the princess. I want to marry Ranger 1/2 the time and Morelli the other 1/2. I would date the Weasley twins and play drinking games with Dumbledore. I've hung out with fun, young, hip chicks that struggle with jobs, love, men and parenting. I've visited different cities, countries, continents and centuries.
I've finally found a way to read good books or rather I've finally grown up enough that I can pitch a book if I don't get into it. Nancy Pearl had a great formula for this and I live by it. 100 - (your age) = the number of pages to give a book before you give up on it. Probably the best formula I've ever learned and definitely the only one beyond H20 that I've remembered. Take this advice! There are way too many good books to waste time on the bad ones.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Trying to get over the guilt...
I woke up this morning to bright sunshine! I was so excited because everyday with sunshine is just a better day. Apparently I have Seasonal Affect disorder because sunshine has an effect on me. I decided to get my gear on and hit the pavement for a good run. I figured while I had bright sunshine I failed to bother to look outside and see what it looked like and then my daughter came in all excited because..."It snowed!! Mommy it snowed!" What a cruel trick! That meant a round of Fit TV and no pavement. Don't get me wrong I am by no means a fitness addict but yesterday I had time to run outside (no snow!) and it was so great. Time to myself, time in my own head continuing to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life. The other bonus I have found since the fabulous MP3 players have hit the world is I can download audio books and "read" while I run. I always feel like I'm getting away with something when I do this but it does make exercise in general so much better.
One of the things that I really struggle with is finding time for myself. I work full time in a job that is more than full time (kind of like being a SAHM), have 2 girls that are in every sport imaginable, have had to start traveling and have a spouse who is having to travel for his job. This means that when I am home I just want to spend time with the girls and feel completely guilty doing the things for myself that I love to do (read, scrapbook, and though I don't like it I need it...workout) I know I am am not alone in this struggle and there are many of us that take on that guilty feeling when we actually indulge ourselves in "Me" time. But...I have also found that in order to be a good mom I have to take those moments; and although they may be few and far between, it really is important. I just have to learn not to give in to the guilt!
One of the things that I really struggle with is finding time for myself. I work full time in a job that is more than full time (kind of like being a SAHM), have 2 girls that are in every sport imaginable, have had to start traveling and have a spouse who is having to travel for his job. This means that when I am home I just want to spend time with the girls and feel completely guilty doing the things for myself that I love to do (read, scrapbook, and though I don't like it I need it...workout) I know I am am not alone in this struggle and there are many of us that take on that guilty feeling when we actually indulge ourselves in "Me" time. But...I have also found that in order to be a good mom I have to take those moments; and although they may be few and far between, it really is important. I just have to learn not to give in to the guilt!
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